


the cuddle jumper

by waveydnp



Series: smut for smut's sake [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Halloween, Hand Jobs, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:49:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12750492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: what i like to imagine happened after they made their crispy cakes





	the cuddle jumper

“What’re you doing?” Phil asks indignantly as Dan pulls on the jumper, making the collar rub uncomfortably against Phil’s neck. “You’re not taking it off are you?”

“Yeah, of course I am you twat.” Dan starts to pull his arm out of the sleeve. “The video’s over.”

With the naked arm that’s trapped under the the bright orange fabric, Phil grabs Dan’s arm. “Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s called a cuddle sweater. We didn’t do any cuddling yet.”

“Is it?” Dan asks

“Yeah.”

“Well I think this one is actually called the ‘Bryony hates us now for begging her to stitch two ugly jumpers together with no notice’ sweater.”

Phil pouts. “No. It’s the cuddle sweater.”

“You know we don’t need a special jumper to cuddle.”

Phil presses himself against Dan’s side, wrapping his arm around Dan’s waist. “I know. I just want to.”

Dan rolls his eyes. The grin that stretches across his face seriously betrays how not annoyed he really is. His boyfriend is a touchy, cuddly, needy little piece of shit and he absolutely loves it, no matter how much he tries to pretend he doesn’t. “Fine. Let’s go turn off the camera at least. Left, left.”

They shuffle over to the camera and turn it off, another halloween baking video shot and ready to be edited into something acceptable for millions of eyes to see. Sometimes a cheeky little part of him wishes they could leave in these little bits at the end, where they’ve dropped the personas and closed the distance between them. A part of him would love to watch shit hit the fan when people see Phil put his arm around Dan and say he wants to cuddle.

Maybe some day. They’re wearing a fucking conjoined cuddle jumper for god’s sake. The aftermath on social media of that alone will be endlessly entertaining. 

“What are we going to do while we cuddle, Philly?”

“Stranger Things of course. We’re going right, now. Right.”

“Wait. Can we bring the crispy cakes?”

“Of course.”

Dan carries the little basket of treats and they manage to penguin waddle their way to the lounge without tripping and falling to their deaths. Somehow. Being literally attached at the hip has done nothing to improve Phil’s gracefulness or general lack of coordination. 

They sit side by side on the sofa, arms pressed together under the jumper. Phil leans his head down on Dan’s shoulder as the show starts.

“See? This is nice,” Phil says, nuzzling his nose into Dan’s neck.

Dan reaches his hand out and squeezes Phil’s thigh. “Don’t be doing that if you actually want to watch this.” Even after all these years, it doesn’t take much neck touching to get him going. Or any kind of touching really, if it’s Phil who’s doing it. 

Phil grazes his teeth gently along Dan’s sensitive skin. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Fuck off,” Dan laughs.

Phil chuckles but pulls away. He reaches across Dan’s body and takes a crispy cake from the basket. 

Phil’s right though, Dan admits in his head, it  _ is _ nice. It’s almost like they’re naked and sharing a blanket. Dan’s arm is laid on top of Phil’s, his hand still splayed out over Phil’s leg. It’s all very warm and cozy and lovely.

But. Phil’s face is still dangerously close to his neck. And Dan is still very aware of that fact. Which is ridiculous, completely. They’re watching a show they’ve been waiting a year to return to Netflix. They’ve got snacks and Phil was just trying to get a rise out of him by biting his neck like that.

Apparently it’s worked because he’s still thinking about it half an hour later, wishing Phil would bring his lips back up there and suck a big fat bruise under his jaw. Phil’s moved his arm up and wrapped it around Dan’s shoulders, but Dan’s hand is still curled around Phil’s upper thigh. It’s starting to get a little sweaty, all this naked skin pressing together, but either Phil hasn’t noticed or he doesn’t care.

Dan thinks it’s fucking sexy, actually. Like the sound of their skin slapping together earlier. He’d pretended to be offended by it but really, the sound had sent a thousand memories rushing through him. Good ones. Hot ones. 

Just like the slight feeling of dampness Dan feels across his shoulders with the weight of Phil’s arm on him. Reminds him of the countless nights they’ve spent together, naked sweaty skin slapping together loudly, over and over. Phil just has that effect on him, still. He still gets excited just from a playful neck bite and Phil’s body next to his. 

He gives Phil’s leg a squeeze. Phil doesn’t react. He’s engrossed in whatever’s happening on the tv. Dan stopped paying attention like fifteen minutes ago.

He slides his hand up a little higher. He wishes they’d gotten changed into something a little more comfortable than jeans before sitting down. Something a little easier access.

But no, he thinks. This will be good. He can drag it out. They have all night after all, and Phil is notoriously fun to tease.

He slides his hand up further until it’s on top of Phil’s crotch.

“Can I help you?” Phil asks, not even looking away from the screen.

“Nope.” Dan cups his big fingers around Phil’s balls. Or what he thinks are balls. It’s hard to tell when there’s a regrettably thick layer of denim covering the goods.

“Watch the show,” Phil scolds, though he does nothing in the way of actually pushing Dan’s hand away.

“I am.” He presses down a little harder, squeezing.

“I’ve been waiting ages for this,” Phil says, squeezing Dan’s shoulder. “I’m watching this now, before it all gets spoiled.”

“No one’s stopping you,” Dan says. He’s still looking at the telly, but all he can see is what he knows is trapped under Phil’s black jeans. What he really wants to get his hands on right now. 

Phil keeps watching the show and Dan keeps rubbing at him lazily. Phil’s arm is still resting on Dan’s shoulder, but only up to the elbow as his fingers comb through the hair on the back of Dan’s head. He scrapes his nails gently against Dan’s scalp. 

Fuck him, Dan thinks. Phil knows what that does to him. He’s probably not even seeing what’s on the telly anymore either.

He’s obviously trying to keep it together, though. He’s not even thrusting into Dan’s hand a little bit. Yet.

Dan keeps rubbing and squeezing gently until he feels firmness against his palm. Phil’s not even close to fully hard, but just the hint of a semi is enough to send Dan’s blood rushing down to his own cock. He’ll never tire of touching Phil like this, of feeling proof of the effect they still have on each other.

He slides his hand up to Phil’s belt. He takes his time unlooping it through the buckle and pulling the prong out of the little hole. He doesn’t pull the belt through the loops of Phil’s jeans, just leaves it hanging open as his fingers move to undo his button.

Phil tugs a little on Dan’s hair as Dan pops the button open and pulls the zipper of his fly down slowly. Painfully slowly. Phil pretends not to be bothered, keeping his face looking straight ahead.

But Dan knows. He feels the evidence growing longer and stiffer by the second.

He pulls a little on the top of Phil’s jeans, hoping he’ll cooperate. He can do this without pulling them down, but it’ll be better if he does.

Phil shatters any illusion of indifference by lifting his bum up slightly. Dan tugs the jeans down clumsily, just enough to get access to what he’s after. He allows himself a little look.

He has to bite his lip. Phil’s wearing his black Calvin’s. The sexiest fucking pants known to man, and even in the dim glow of the light from the telly, he can see the shape of Phil’s dick beneath the thin material.

He almost loses his resolve then. All he wants to do is rip off those pants and bury Phil with his mouth. He’s not fully hard yet--he could probably fit the whole thing.

He doesn’t do it. Instead he cups Phil’s bulge again, this time watching his face intently. 

Phil doesn’t disappoint. He closes his eyes and inhales sharply.

“Damn you, Howell. I’m watching the show.”

Dan rubs his palm slowly along Phil’s shaft, squeezing when he gets to the head. “I know. I am too.”

Phil opens his eyes and looks back at the screen with a focused intensity. “Great.”

Dan continues to run his hand up and down slowly, but he can’t help adding a little more pressure as time goes on. Phil is fully hard now and pulling on a fistful of Dan’s hair every time Dan traces the shape of his balls.

Dan’s content to wait. He’s not going to give Phil what he wants until he has his full attention. Won’t be long now, he thinks as he feels a little spot of wetness on Phil’s pants.

It’s not until Dan dips his fingers beneath the waistband and rubs at the coarse hair there that Phil whispers, “Do it. Please.”

“Do what?” Dan asks innocently. “We’re watching Stranger Things.”

Phil buries his face in Dan’s neck suddenly, rubbing his stubbled chin against Dan’s incredibly sensitive skin. Dan gasps and Phil licks over the same spot. “Do it,” he growls.

Dan’s stomach flips. He’ll never in a million years be immune to Phil’s sex voice. 

Instead of pulling Phil’s pants down, he reaches through the hole at the front with two fingers and pulls Phil out of it. Again, he has the urge to lean down and taste, but he can’t. The fucking jumper won’t let him.

Phil’s cock is beautiful, there’s just no way around that. Long and thick and adorably pink. It matches Dan’s big hands and long fingers perfectly.

Dan lifts his hand up and pokes it through Phil’s collar. He holds it up in front of Phil’s face and says, “Spit,” and Phil does, without question. It’s gross and undignified but that just adds to the naughtiness, the feeling of taboo at pulling his boyfriend’s cock out of the hole in his underwear and wanking him in the middle of the lounge. It’s really not taboo at all--they’re grown men in the privacy of their own home, but something about the limited mobility of the jumper and not having proper lube and Phil’s insistence that he doesn’t care is making Dan feel extra cheeky as he slides his spit-slick hand loosely down Phil’s length and then back up.

He rubs his thumb over the slit and Phil moans, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the sofa. “Fuck.” He’s still pulling on Dan’s curls. 

Dan keeps jerking him slowly and deliberately, twisting and squeezing and sliding his thumb through the slit, just like Phil likes it. Phil gives up on the pretense and pauses the show, and the only sounds they can hear are Phil’s soft moans and the squelching of Phil’s spit on Dan’s hand as he strokes him off. Again, kind of gross but it drives Dan mad, that wet  _ squick squick. _ It almost sounds the way it does when it’s Dan’s mouth and not his hand.

Once Phil starts thrusting his hips to meet Dan’s hand, Dan’s had about as much as he can take. He always has grand ambitions of edging Phil until he begs, but it never works. He just gets too damn turned on to keep things from escalating. 

“Phil,” he whispers.

“What?” Phil’s voice is deep and gravelly and utterly sexy.

Dan starts stroking a little faster. His own erection is pushing against his jeans painfully now. “Can I sit on it?”

Phil grabs Dan’s wrist to stop him. “Wait, wait, fuck.” He bites his lip.

Dan grins.

“You can’t just… say shit like that. Unless you want me to come right away,” Phil groans.

“Can I?” Dan asks again. “It looks so good.”

Phil lets go of Dan’s wrist, shaking his head. “Wanna do it like this.”

Dan opens his mouth to whine, but Phil cuts him off. He reaches across Dan’s arm and pulls at his belt buckle. “Take it out. Wanna see your pretty cock.” Phil gets so filthy when they’re like this.

Dan lets go of Phil just long enough to rip his belt open and yank his jeans down. Phil takes hold of him the second he’s free of his pants--dry, because Dan likes the friction of it.

“Can we take this bloody jumper off?” Dan asks as he takes Phil in his hand again. “I can’t move in it.”

“I kind of like that though,” Phil grunts. “Like really vanilla bondage or something.”

Dan laughs, but the sound gets choked out by a moan as Phil starts pulling roughly at his cock. Dan loves that he doesn’t have to say anything. They know each other’s kinks, when to wank hard and when to suck deep. Phil knows Dan likes it a little rough. Dan knows Phil likes it soft. 

Phil knows Dan likes to be kissed. He leans in and licks into Dan’s mouth and they make out like teenagers, like they did in Phil’s bedroom in Manchester back in 2009, while they move their hands up and down on each other. 

It’s not just a little damp under the jumper anymore. Dan feels a bead of sweat roll down his chest and wishes he could tear it off and climb on top of Phil and ride him until they both burst. Or vice versa. He’s just as happy to push himself deep inside of Phil. 

But this is hot too, he thinks as Phil bites down on his bottom lip. This is good. Different is good. New is good, even if it is jerking each other off and sweating while trapped in a conjoined halloween jumper. 

Dan comes first. Dan always comes first, no matter how hard he tries not to. Tonight he doesn’t care, though. Tonight he’s happy to squeeze Phil’s dick and curl his toes and grunt as he spills all over Phil’s soft fingers. 

When’s he’s stopped twitching, he picks up Phil’s hand and sucks his sticky thumb right into his mouth. He doesn’t even wince when the sharp taste of himself hits the back of his tongue. He knows how crazy this makes Phil. He swirls his tongue along the pad of Phil’s thumb and starts moving his hand on him again.

Phil moans loudly and throws his head back. He pushes his thumb deeper into Dan’s mouth and croaks, “Faster.” 

Dan sucks hard and jerks fast and is rewarded less than a minute later with another ridiculously sexy moan and a cock that pulses in his fist. 

Eventually Phil pulls his thumb from Dan’s mouth and slumps back against the sofa.

Dan laughs. “You ruined our jumper.”

Phil looks down at the thick milky splatter on the front of the sweater their friend had kindly stitched together for them. “It’s just part of the spiderweb,” he chuckles. 

“ _ Now _ can we take this off?” Dan asks.

Phil nods. “Should we shower?”

“No,” Dan says, finally pulling his arm out of the sleeve. “I want to watch the show.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Phil says.

“Yep.”

Phil grins. “Ok. I reckon we’ll need to start the episode over again, though.”

Dan gives him a look of fond annoyance. “No shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @waveydnp :)


End file.
